It's not like how they show it on TV. The span of an entire illness comes to a conclusion in a very comfortable 45 min. Programs even have commercial breaks in between all the drama to allow yourself the opportunity to further comfort yourself with a trip to the bathroom or a quest for that bag of peanut M&Ms in the cabinet. Within minutes of air time, the tests that had previously been performed are ready; the hot nurse returns to the wise doctor's office and hands him the file as he looks for his glasses in the pocket of his oversized white coat. A quick, witty exchange and then it's back to work. The rooms are always nicely lit with the Hollywood touch and everything is pristine and new. The floors are shined, the nurses are sweet and compassionate and the doctors somehow all look like GQ models. Hollywood, right?
The real world though is not Hollywood. The halls of a hospital smell like rubber gloves, 409, and the overwhelming smell of sub-par chicken broth. The waiting is gruesome and agonizing. The nurses mission is to get in and get out. There's no encouraging side comments, where the patient suddenly has an epiphany with the nurse about "What it all really means." Some are curt and unresponsive. Others are Chatty Cathy's with the inability to take a pause, let alone a pulse. And then there are those who are polite and kind and know exactly what to do. Now I can say whatever I want about their performance, but at the end of the day they are there to do a job, not to make friends. I can respect that. At the end of the day it's not their friendship that I'll leave with. If they do their job, then I get the auspicious privilege to take the person that I'm visiting--home.
You'd like her if you knew her. She is the most remarkable person I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. Her laugh is infectious and her love is unconditional. Her talents: rearranging furniture, designing excellent "goodie trays", and wreath beautification. Her weaknesses: a good Dan Fogelberg song, feeding people until they had to scale back a notch in their belt, and having pictures hand framed and hung on the wall (just right). She's my mom and has given me absolutely everything that I could ever need and then some. Now it's my turn.
My mom is strong. She is the kind of person that would turn down help, but follow with "Do you need anything?" or "How are you doing today?" Life has thrown me a curve ball though. When they told me she had cancer my entire world stopped. The word kept playing over and over in my head, and I couldn't grasp it's meaning. Did I break down? I'll answer that with the quick retort, "Is the sky blue?" I inherited her strength though and from here on out you're looking at a 6'4 "Iron Man". I have found that in times of true upset though, you see the most pure, beautiful side of people. It's a raw compassion molded into cards and thoughtful prayers. All of them stacking on top of the other, building up a mountain of positivity that I dare you to try and conquer. My family and friends are incredible and we are such an unstoppable force. There is a magic about this family that is unbreakable. We don't know how to give up and we certainly won't start now.
My Wanderers, life can change so very quickly. I have "preached" in these past blog posts about seizing the day and it couldn't be any truer. Take the time and appreciate everything that you have and especially the people that are so important to you. Be strong. Take the storm and turn it into sunshine. Light up the world with your positivity. The human spirit is truly amazing and is capable of so much. This is life. It's messy, complicated and often times not what you expect. But with positive thinking, group support, and a whole lotta love, anything is possible. "The path may be long and treacherous, but I am here to hold your hand and guide you to the finish line." I'm ready, so take my hand and let us begin.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
The Emotional Connection
Life is beautiful. I couldn't describe it to you; for everyone needs to see it and experience it for themselves. However, there is a gift we possess that conveys this beauty. This gift cannot be wrapped, seen, or even bought, but it can be felt. Emotions are our gift. The power to feel so much love that you would rather cease feeling than to be without it. To experience so much hurt and pain that you buckle at the knees for fear to go on. And to feel so helpless that you don't know where to turn or at best, where to begin. I will tell you what my Wanderers. I see these not as plagues, but as privileges. A responsibility that we are all hard wired into accepting and should never condemn, but more so to embrace. The power to feel, even when it's pain, is the beauty to live. And that beauty should not be overlooked.
Let's be honest, life is hard. More than that, life can be all but impossible at times. A widow working three jobs to put two kids through college. A mormon missionary who is excommunicated from his church for being a homosexual and then sent to a camp to convert him to "normalcy". It can seem unfair and brutal, but there is a bigger picture. Now I would not consider myself a religious man, but I am a firm believer in fate. I believe that for every single one of us there is a plan. A light at the end of the tunnel that is sometimes blocked from sight, but never extinguished. An ever burning hope that things are going to get better. So I ask of you, that when things seem dreary and that light cannot be seen, please do not give up. Work through these woes and uncover that flicker of hope again. It doesn't matter what rut you may feel yourself dwelling in, there is always an out. A life-vest on a sinking ship. A ladder from a burning building. We are all meant for so much more, and those lights are never far from sight.
Now as humans, we reside in our comfort zones. Never wanting to upset the balance of what is accepted or challenge rules that appear to be set in stone. However, something is lost when we isolate ourselves. Connectivity. We confine ourselves into our perfect little stereotypes and do not wish to step out and experience others. We read people the moment they walk through the door. Judge the ground on which they walk before they have a chance to open their mouths, and it is in those seconds where we allow them into our content little space or we shut the door and flip the deadbolt. I'm not chastising anyone by any means. We are all human after all. But we do owe it to ourselves to allow this connection back into our lives. To talk to people and experience new things. Embrace people for exactly who they are and never for a moment pass up on opportunities. Now I wouldn't advise embracing the "bath salts" guy who ate that homeless man's face off. For one, I just don't approve of such foul play. And two, you might get your face eaten off as well. The point is though to allow your comfort zone to stretch. Or better yet, to lift off your shoulders so that you can see the world with some clarity to the reality that surrounds you. There is so much out there to discover and try. Don't limit yourself. Go out there and see for yourself. Allow those emotions to pour out and feel alive.
I can sum up my point with something of a metaphor. Have you ever looked at a comic strip? Not read it, but held it so close to your face that the pictures became nothing more than little dots. Life is kind of like that sometimes. We may not be able to see past the mere pixels on a page, but eventually, we pull the image back just enough to discover the entire picture, and somehow everything makes sense. Each connection that we make, and each emotion that we have is a singular dot. We are all part of the big picture so allow yourself to step back and see it. May these emotions that you have only bring you closer to the people around you. Connect with others, don't be afraid. Live out loud. And above all, be the change you want to see in the world. That picture is a beautiful thing and I'd hate for you to miss it.
Let's be honest, life is hard. More than that, life can be all but impossible at times. A widow working three jobs to put two kids through college. A mormon missionary who is excommunicated from his church for being a homosexual and then sent to a camp to convert him to "normalcy". It can seem unfair and brutal, but there is a bigger picture. Now I would not consider myself a religious man, but I am a firm believer in fate. I believe that for every single one of us there is a plan. A light at the end of the tunnel that is sometimes blocked from sight, but never extinguished. An ever burning hope that things are going to get better. So I ask of you, that when things seem dreary and that light cannot be seen, please do not give up. Work through these woes and uncover that flicker of hope again. It doesn't matter what rut you may feel yourself dwelling in, there is always an out. A life-vest on a sinking ship. A ladder from a burning building. We are all meant for so much more, and those lights are never far from sight.
Now as humans, we reside in our comfort zones. Never wanting to upset the balance of what is accepted or challenge rules that appear to be set in stone. However, something is lost when we isolate ourselves. Connectivity. We confine ourselves into our perfect little stereotypes and do not wish to step out and experience others. We read people the moment they walk through the door. Judge the ground on which they walk before they have a chance to open their mouths, and it is in those seconds where we allow them into our content little space or we shut the door and flip the deadbolt. I'm not chastising anyone by any means. We are all human after all. But we do owe it to ourselves to allow this connection back into our lives. To talk to people and experience new things. Embrace people for exactly who they are and never for a moment pass up on opportunities. Now I wouldn't advise embracing the "bath salts" guy who ate that homeless man's face off. For one, I just don't approve of such foul play. And two, you might get your face eaten off as well. The point is though to allow your comfort zone to stretch. Or better yet, to lift off your shoulders so that you can see the world with some clarity to the reality that surrounds you. There is so much out there to discover and try. Don't limit yourself. Go out there and see for yourself. Allow those emotions to pour out and feel alive.
I can sum up my point with something of a metaphor. Have you ever looked at a comic strip? Not read it, but held it so close to your face that the pictures became nothing more than little dots. Life is kind of like that sometimes. We may not be able to see past the mere pixels on a page, but eventually, we pull the image back just enough to discover the entire picture, and somehow everything makes sense. Each connection that we make, and each emotion that we have is a singular dot. We are all part of the big picture so allow yourself to step back and see it. May these emotions that you have only bring you closer to the people around you. Connect with others, don't be afraid. Live out loud. And above all, be the change you want to see in the world. That picture is a beautiful thing and I'd hate for you to miss it.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
The Importance of Ideology
A sophomore at Harvard, in the Fall of 2003, had a
falling out with his girlfriend. Drunk and in a tired haze, he developed an
idea. The idea was to compare pictures of female undergrads to each other and
have students rate them based on their physical attractiveness. This was
clearly his way of coping with his recent breakup however, the site went viral
in a matter of 4 hours and generated enough activity to actually crash the
Harvard system. From there he would go on, with the help of investors and
friends, to develop the greatest social networking site of all time,
facebook.com. Now this should not be perceived as new information to those who
have seen "The Social Network", but Mark Zuckerberg, at the age of 28, is now valued at
19.1 Billion dollars and was a billionaire before the age of 25. All of this
stemmed from an idea, and this idea changed the world.
The earliest memories that most of have from our childhood involve make
believe. Playing "Cowboys and Indians" in the backyard or
"Barbies" with elaborate "soap-opera"inspired dilemmas. All
of us were dreamers. Are dreamers. Fueled primarily by the depth of our
creativity and the attention spans which we possessed, we all created our own
little worlds. Growing up, however, takes it's toll on the creativity and
functionality of a young persons mind. A moment comes in every persons life where it is no longer "cool" to fantasize and dream, and from there layers of creativity begin to peel away. Eventually we get older and where do we end up? In a cubicle lit by florescent lights and chat about the winner on "American Idol", then proceed to leave our mediocre employment in our overly priced SUV's (which we can hardly make the minimum payments on) to end up at a dinner table with undercooked chicken and insomnia when our head hits the pillow. Not a shred of creativity remaining. Think about it. Is that the life you dreamed up when you were a kid? Where did our imaginations go...?
Now I'll settle with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a desk job. It keeps dinner on the table and keeps a roof over our heads. Over half of available jobs out there are working in an office building and with unemployment in April 2012 at 8.1%, I'd be satisfied with simply having employment. With this said though, there is a problem with running through each day in a cyclical fashion. Not stopping once to think outside the box or revel in the ideas of what could be. That is the point I'm trying to make. Dream my Wanderers. That next big idea is out there, so take it. What's wrong with dreaming? No one can take it away from you. The power to create and to invent has become a lost art and should not be overlooked and certainly not be taken for granted. Everyone is special, and everyone has the ability, just like Mark Zuckerberg, to change the world. The power is in your hands, don't let it go to waste.
We are the now. The products, websites, and new inventions that people will be talking about in the years to come will be made by us. We hold the key to our future and clench the power to make a difference. I'm not talking about money, fame, or notoriety either. I'm simply getting down to the fundamentals of exercising our own minds and branching out into the vast world of creativity. Let your imaginations run wild my Wanderers and let's see how much we can change in the next 20 years. Wander through the wide open and unchartered to discover what no one else can. Open your mind up to new possibilities and learn about the things you don't understand. You only get one shot at this life. Let's see if we can't put it to good use and one up Mark Zuckerberg to our ideas that we've yet to discover.
Monday, April 16, 2012
In "Light" of Recent Events
On April 16th 2007, 32 people woke up as if it were any other day. They hurried out of bed and prepared themselves for yet another mundane day on Virginia Tech campus. Some rushing out with no time to clean up their dirty dishes or make their beds with the notion of "I'll do it later" lingering on their lips. Stepping out of their dorms or walking out of their apartments to catch the bus, there was a noticeable chill in the air. A flurry or two scraping their faces as they whisked themselves off to class on time. Without warning, or reason their lives would unknowingly end soon after... There is a great question we ask ourselves all the time, "Why?" Why this? Why here? Why now? The answer is simple. There is no reason. Life hands us hardship upon hardship and through those we gain strength in ourselves to press onwards. I'll tell you what though, through the ashes and memories of these 32, I myself have witnessed something truly beautiful. Hope.
My Wanderers, I ask you to take a moment and reflect upon the events of your day. Now let me ask you this, did you live each second to it's fullest, truly and undoubtedly breathe in each moment as your last? I'm not talking about any of this "YOLO" shit either. I'm saying did you take the time to appreciate the air in your lungs and remember that you are so lucky to be given this day? As creatures of habit, we settle into our routines. Wake up. Eat. Go to class. Eat. TV. Workout. Homework (if the mood should strike). Bed. Never pausing, however to stop and take a look around and truly be thankful that even in the dullest of settings, you have the ability to carry on. Hell, I'm guilty of the same thing as I go through my day, head down, simply saying, "Let's just get this over with."What I'm trying to convey to you though is that we need to take more time just to appreciate what we have right in front of us and not dwell on the things that we cannot change. It's simply torture to continually going around consumed in the negativities in life. Smile, for you have a lot to smile about.
Over the past few days I have watched my total understanding of human nature shattered in front of my eyes. I watched as complete strangers banned together in respect for one cause. Participating in the "3.2 for 32 Walk for Remembrance" truly shook me. The energy that pulsed through this sea of people was electric. You could feel it, hear it, and understand it. It pulled you in and I couldn't help but be moved by it. Nearly 5000 people walked 3.2 miles to remember the lives of 32 brave men and women who were taken so quickly, yet the mood was anything but somber. People, of all races, genders, sexualities and personalities, banded together, and for a short time there was nothing but this. A glow that you could see on the faces of each man, woman and child, and through each of them, this crowd shined like the sun. Their energy was contagious and soon I found myself consumed by it. An inner warmth that burned through all of my sorrows and replaced it with uninhibited love.
On the anniversary however, April 16th 2012, 5 years had passed and I stood in front of Burruss Hall, on the Drill Field and watched in awe at the sight that lay before my eyes. The air was warm and again I felt that contagious energy rushing through me as I listened to each speaker. Sends chills up the back of my neck just thinking about it. I choked back tears as the crowd grew larger and the list of names continued to be read. Upon the conclusion of the readings this energy took a new form. Candle lightings from neighbor to neighbor ignited a roaring wave of hope from person to person. Looking out over this sea of light I became lit, lit with the notion that I belong here and this is my family. Pride welled up inside of me as the chants of "Let's Go...Hokies" echoed from all corners of the crowd. For the first time, I watched a group of 10,000 people, put down their problems and join together to continue the healing for this incredibly strong community.
So tomorrow, take the time to look at the world around you. Try something different. Explore both sides to an issue before jumping to a conclusion. But above all, make sure that you tell the people you love each day just how truly special they are to you. I guarantee you that 32 families would love to be able to do the same. Hold a place in your heart for those lost and neVer forgeT the strength of people. We are one nation, one state, one city, who live for 32. We will prevail and succeed over the hardships we are put through every day and get up when we fall. We are all Virginia Tech.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Serendipity
The dark will always find the light. We Wanderers cruise through our lives in search of answers. Desperately seeking the knowledge to life's great unknown questions. From the earliest moment that most of us can remember up until the day we die, we dwell on a single question, "Why?". Why is it that we contemplate on the things outside the realm of our control? Torturing ourselves with the answers outside our grasp. The answer is simple. We are creatures of knowledge. Constantly in demand of knowing what we don't understand or finding out the answers to our questions. A thorn in our side that constantly keeps us moving on; it makes us thirst for the acknowledgement of the things that we could never hope to come to terms with.
I offer you, my Wanderers, a new reflection. How about the notion of Serendipity? Webster says that serendipity is "an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident". Think about it. We all dwell on the past, constantly saying that there is no hope for the future. Truth be told, if we live our life through the experiences of our past, that's probably the right answer. What about this though? The answer is out there for us, we just don't need to go looking for it. At the right time and place the answers to all of our questions will land right in our lap, typically when we least expect it. I ask you, like I myself have had to do, to remove yourself from your current trifles. Look at your life from the outside in. What is it that you see? I guarantee you that no matter how much you have it "all figured out", the answers that you've been searching for are still undiscovered.
I'm tired of searching and I imagine you are too. No longer do we need to put ourself through so much angst. So much uncertainty is out there, yes. However, with this said, we are still human. We are meant to grow and make mistakes. Through these struggles and coming out on top through overwhelming odds we undoubtedly find out who we truly are. Laugh at the struggles in your past, because you know what? You're still here. You're here to step up and fight another day. Waving your sword of confidence and wisdom, you stand tall knowing that the good days are so close you can taste them.
Wanderers it is your turn to make me proud. Turn up the volume up on your life. Dance, sing, and find the joy in all the things that life has to offer. Never wish to grow up too fast. These days are meant to count too. So let us all take a moment to breathe. Remind ourselves that life is serendipitous, like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. I promise you, the moment you stop looking, those answers will land gently on your lap, and you will be able smile at all the bad times you have had to go through to get to this place of utter bliss. Like a feather on a breeze, we too will fly. Let's take this time to be swept off our feet, only to come down when we find ourselves in a place of true happiness. This is your time. Take on new challenges and march up to things outside of your comfort zone with arms wide open. Embrace life with every ounce of strength that you possess and make sure you remember that you are perfect just the way you are.
I offer you, my Wanderers, a new reflection. How about the notion of Serendipity? Webster says that serendipity is "an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident". Think about it. We all dwell on the past, constantly saying that there is no hope for the future. Truth be told, if we live our life through the experiences of our past, that's probably the right answer. What about this though? The answer is out there for us, we just don't need to go looking for it. At the right time and place the answers to all of our questions will land right in our lap, typically when we least expect it. I ask you, like I myself have had to do, to remove yourself from your current trifles. Look at your life from the outside in. What is it that you see? I guarantee you that no matter how much you have it "all figured out", the answers that you've been searching for are still undiscovered.
I'm tired of searching and I imagine you are too. No longer do we need to put ourself through so much angst. So much uncertainty is out there, yes. However, with this said, we are still human. We are meant to grow and make mistakes. Through these struggles and coming out on top through overwhelming odds we undoubtedly find out who we truly are. Laugh at the struggles in your past, because you know what? You're still here. You're here to step up and fight another day. Waving your sword of confidence and wisdom, you stand tall knowing that the good days are so close you can taste them.
Wanderers it is your turn to make me proud. Turn up the volume up on your life. Dance, sing, and find the joy in all the things that life has to offer. Never wish to grow up too fast. These days are meant to count too. So let us all take a moment to breathe. Remind ourselves that life is serendipitous, like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get. I promise you, the moment you stop looking, those answers will land gently on your lap, and you will be able smile at all the bad times you have had to go through to get to this place of utter bliss. Like a feather on a breeze, we too will fly. Let's take this time to be swept off our feet, only to come down when we find ourselves in a place of true happiness. This is your time. Take on new challenges and march up to things outside of your comfort zone with arms wide open. Embrace life with every ounce of strength that you possess and make sure you remember that you are perfect just the way you are.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The Man in the Mirror
My writings have typically consisted of a happy-go-lucky personality. An optimistic approach to the dark days and an even brighter persona for the good ones. Strolling through life with a smile and not a care in the world, and yes, I still stand behind this. However, the world has an odd way of balancing itself out. Seems like when you've just peaked and you feel like you've conquered all you set out to do, it's then that the high of success seems to fade, leaving you falling like a rock. Plummeting with no parachute, your stroll with a smile entangled by your own mixed emotions leaving you breathless and empty. As much as you fight to keep that glow on your face, suppressing that anger and sadness only makes that falling sensation grow. A panicked sense of helplessness that no one can pull you back from. For here, in your psyche, there are no safety ladders or life buoys to hoist you back from darkness. No trapeze nets to catch you on your way down.
Look into the mirror and tell me what you see. A man once looked into the mirror, and he was horrified by his shape staring him down. Knowing the things that person has said, and the people he has hurt with his words makes him sick. He cringes as he reflects on the things that he's done wrong: the lies, the secrets, the gossiping. An image in his own mind that putting others down, or lying to protect those he cares about would eventually bring him this grand gesture of happiness. He shakes this feeling, further suppressing his guilt and he smiles. Isn't that what we all want? To be able to wake up, step into the bathroom, and stare at ourselves in the mirror with a smile. Oh yes, this was his dream too, but his smile did not reflect the image he had strived for. His smile was never sadistic or vicious mind you, but an empty one, cold and without meaning. The only real thing staring back at him, on what used to be an otherwise flawless beam of pearly whites, is the discoloration stained onto his teeth from the number of cigarettes he has smoked as a last hope for some stress relief. The smile is nothing more than a facade to the otherwise unimpressive and morose being that has grown inside of him for so long. A weed that has manifested into overtaking the entire yard and he's unsure he can eradicate it at this point. Where does he even dare to begin?
So he tried identifying the problems and took into account the things that needed improving. This only worked for so long, because the frustration of not being able to change that reflection, that he stared at every day, grew deeper and hurt more each time. Instead of fighting anymore with fear of failure, he gave up. Lost himself in the extracurriculars that the dark-side had to offer. He reveled in his new found "paradise". He made the rules and had no one to answer to but himself, the one person that could care less. Relationships formed, relationships lost, did he care? Not a chance. Who needed feelings and love when the absence of it brought this euphoria of never being disappointed? Never having your heart broken like it had been so many times before. His soul was scarred by the number of trials and errors, and this new "paradise" put that soul in a black box. Who would want to remember the past and deal with that pressure, when this paradise was so carefree and emotionless?
He stumbled upon that box one day after years of it being hidden, collecting dust, and curiosity overcame him. His vacation in this paradise had been "wonderful", but it was starting to lose its luster; its shine, tarnished and couldn't be buffed out. So, taking the box in his hands he pried it open and the memories of those days flooded in. It was in this moment that he looked into the mirror, and for the first time in a long time he saw himself truly. A stud with no direction, a heart without a pulse. His eyes gazed back into themselves.
He remembered that stroll he once had; that smile that presented itself so effortlessly. Everything used to come so naturally, but he realized that it was himself that had changed. He was the one who decided to retreat into this darkness and now, it was time to stroll back into the light. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he had to start somewhere. From there he began his ascent back to the place where he used to be. To one day be able to look in the mirror and smile at the man that was smiling back at him.
It Gets Better...I promise. Step by step we all eventually end up where we want to be. Keep walking and see for yourself.
Look into the mirror and tell me what you see. A man once looked into the mirror, and he was horrified by his shape staring him down. Knowing the things that person has said, and the people he has hurt with his words makes him sick. He cringes as he reflects on the things that he's done wrong: the lies, the secrets, the gossiping. An image in his own mind that putting others down, or lying to protect those he cares about would eventually bring him this grand gesture of happiness. He shakes this feeling, further suppressing his guilt and he smiles. Isn't that what we all want? To be able to wake up, step into the bathroom, and stare at ourselves in the mirror with a smile. Oh yes, this was his dream too, but his smile did not reflect the image he had strived for. His smile was never sadistic or vicious mind you, but an empty one, cold and without meaning. The only real thing staring back at him, on what used to be an otherwise flawless beam of pearly whites, is the discoloration stained onto his teeth from the number of cigarettes he has smoked as a last hope for some stress relief. The smile is nothing more than a facade to the otherwise unimpressive and morose being that has grown inside of him for so long. A weed that has manifested into overtaking the entire yard and he's unsure he can eradicate it at this point. Where does he even dare to begin?
So he tried identifying the problems and took into account the things that needed improving. This only worked for so long, because the frustration of not being able to change that reflection, that he stared at every day, grew deeper and hurt more each time. Instead of fighting anymore with fear of failure, he gave up. Lost himself in the extracurriculars that the dark-side had to offer. He reveled in his new found "paradise". He made the rules and had no one to answer to but himself, the one person that could care less. Relationships formed, relationships lost, did he care? Not a chance. Who needed feelings and love when the absence of it brought this euphoria of never being disappointed? Never having your heart broken like it had been so many times before. His soul was scarred by the number of trials and errors, and this new "paradise" put that soul in a black box. Who would want to remember the past and deal with that pressure, when this paradise was so carefree and emotionless?
He stumbled upon that box one day after years of it being hidden, collecting dust, and curiosity overcame him. His vacation in this paradise had been "wonderful", but it was starting to lose its luster; its shine, tarnished and couldn't be buffed out. So, taking the box in his hands he pried it open and the memories of those days flooded in. It was in this moment that he looked into the mirror, and for the first time in a long time he saw himself truly. A stud with no direction, a heart without a pulse. His eyes gazed back into themselves.
He remembered that stroll he once had; that smile that presented itself so effortlessly. Everything used to come so naturally, but he realized that it was himself that had changed. He was the one who decided to retreat into this darkness and now, it was time to stroll back into the light. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but he had to start somewhere. From there he began his ascent back to the place where he used to be. To one day be able to look in the mirror and smile at the man that was smiling back at him.
It Gets Better...I promise. Step by step we all eventually end up where we want to be. Keep walking and see for yourself.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Those Less Traveled
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." My Wanderers, (I'm liking the fact that I can address my audience with one "nickname", and it seems to fit. Not to say that I have the answers, but merely to say that we are all lost, no matter what age, sex, or race you may be, we bump into one another on our journey through life we undoubtedly find who we truly are.) we all have our paths that we travel, right? No matter what day it is, we wake up and from there on we continue down our road. Each second ticking in conjunction with our furthering footsteps.
In our metaphorical path through life, we never rest. Just as time never stops, we continually march on, unable to retreat back to safer times or change the future from the decisions we have already made. We were all born into a life with no do-over switch, backspace key, or white out. However, with this said, we were also born into a life of choices. Two roads diverged in a wood; it is in this moment that we have our choice. Door number one or door number two. The blue pill or the red one. The right choice or the ill choice that can affect the rest of your life. The answers to our choices are not always clear, and at the same time the clearest answers may not always be the right ones. However, left door or right, blue or red, the answer will never be to refrain from action. Let's put it this way. Make a choice! Yes, sometimes the decision we will come to isn't the right one, but that doesn't make us incapable of proceeding. We only learn, and continue marching on. Keep walking. These strides become easier as we go.
I took the one less traveled by. Come to conclusions based on your own volition. Think twice before wandering down the paved streets just because everyone else has done the same. Sometimes the best experiences can be found from wandering. Wandering down paths with untrodden grass and desolate landscapes. We are each wanderers, briskly strutting through life in search of answers. Have you ever heard the saying though "The drive there is half the fun"? Be your own person while wandering. I guarantee you, the life you want is not the one that everyone else has; it is the one that you've yet to create and are holding back from pursuing. Burst from the skin of normalcy and jump into the world of creativity and personal expression. When was it that being an individual became a bad thing? I challenge you my Wanderers, to be yourself. Dare to break the mold and I promise you'll like what you see.
Let's do it! Life is too short for what if's and maybes. Don't let another moment pass you by. Take the roads less traveled by and let's get this world back to a state of harmonizing individuality. You're holding the matchbook; so strike it, and ignite that diminished spark of life. I have faith in you my Wanderers and hunters of life's answers. So what's your move? Ready to get out there and change the world? Remember that baby steps lead to great strides, just as one idea can change the world. Think deep. Create lots. And dare to be you. Yes--I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Picking up the Anchor
Such a fickle world we live in. Starving for attention only to beg for some space in the moments to follow. Always fighting between what we think and what we feel. What we want, what we need. Love is beauty, love is terrifying. How come? How is it that what we want seems to be just past the tips of your fingers as you viciously swing to grasp it? The door swings both ways though. What others seem to desire from you, always seems to be what you cannot contribute back. An inevitable paradox to which life grants us the emotions to handle. Laugh at what you cannot change. Cry at the things outside your control. Grow from the trials that bring you down. Never fear the volatile swing of life as you endure. This too shall pass, as will the others to come.
Murphy's Law is a bit of a pessimistic view of the world around us. It states that "Whatever you want, the world will thusly present you with the exact opposite". Fight it. Fight the notion that the world is cynical and will never give you what you want. The world is just and kind, not malevolent. There are times though that it would appear that this "Law" may not be as ridiculous as one would think. Sometimes it seems as if the only person you want to talk to, never has their phone near by, or is always to busy to catch up. On the flip-side though, the one who is pining for you, that would do anything to call you their own, who worships the ground that you have just retreated from, is the one YOU will make up the excuses to; "My phone died" "Sorry, it's been a long day". Unrequited love is one of the toughest trials to experience. Over analyzing every word that comes flying your way in hopes that there still might be a chance for you yet. We continue torturing ourselves with hope, when in reality, some ships sail.
My question is "Why are you still docked at port?" The world is full of amazing and wonderful experiences. New people to meet, adventures to have, and memories to live. I know it's not easy. Losing love, or worse, loving without being loved back, is painful. Hell, it's detrimental to your being. Think about it this way though. Would life be as much fun if everything just worked out, and you never really had to try? What kind of accomplishment is there in knowing that the world is sitting there for you on a silver platter? It is the art of failing that makes life worth while. To experience loss, only to discover success is the real beauty in living. So failure isn't the end, only the start of the real fun. Like I've said before, we are all human and believe me, mistakes are in our DNA. So give it your all. Accept defeat (if it should happen) and let's get to the good part already.
Oh my Wanderers, flying through open water, docked at port, or lost at sea, take note of this metaphor. We are all in our boats. Better to sail with fear of sinking, then to never leave the shore. Fear nothing. Go out there and live your life. Feel the rush of spontaneity and the wonderment of life. Let me put it to you this way. If you want to be sad, live in the past. If you want to be anxious, live in the future. But if you want to be at peace, live in the now. Time is ticking and it won't wait for you to get your thoughts together. So make your move. Today is the day. Ready to pick up that anchor? Good. Now let's get out to sea.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Wanderers
Let's take into account all of the emotions that we experience in our lives. We dwell on happiness, anger, fear, regret, but above all love. L is for the way you look at me, right? Or maybe, O is for the only one I see? Possibly. The desire to be "in love" or "why doesn't he love me?" constantly ringing in our ears or exclaimed from our mouths. On this one day of the year, the lovebirds get to flap there wings cheerfully in each others presence, while the rest of us sit here and dwell on the loneliness and jealousy. Why is it that we can't be happy for others and say to ourselves "That's what I'm gonna have one day"? Instead we sit here and mock the people who are so infatuated with each other; however, even then it makes us sick.
Which brings me to my point. Smile. Everyone has something to be upset about, yes. Whether it be a recent break-up, dealing with rejection, or watching the love of your life walk away with someone else. We all need to remember to look for the silver lining! Remember in Elementary School how exciting Valentine's Day was? This was the one day where you got your construction paper and bedazzled shoe box and got candy and notes from all of your classmates. A sad reminder that we are all moving on and getting older now, but then, this was a bright eyes moment for us all. Yet fear not my fellow Wanderers...we are all cut from the same branch and we will find our companion some day. It is just in the mean time that we must remind ourselves of how good we actually have it.
Live in the moment. Take in each day and celebrate the fact that we are alive and kicking, because I'll tell you what. Life is too short to dwell on the inadequacies of others. See the brightness in everything you do, and your day will shine just as bright. If your version of Valentine's day is a carton of Ben and Jerry's and the Notebook, then have at it. Instead though, we could smile on the people we do love, and don't always appreciate. I gave my three girl roommates 4 yellow roses a piece and a box of chocolates. May not have sent there day over the moon, but it certainly made me feel better today about how I live my life, because at the end of the day, you are the person who has to look in the mirror and smile back at your reflection. If you can't do that, then you're wasting you're time. If you don't like what's looking back at you, don't bitch about it to everyone else. Take into account what you don't like and GROW as a person. You are responsible for your own happiness. Choose to be happy or choose to be sad. If we continue to walk around life, dwelling on the negative and the past, then we are likely to let the present slip right through our fingers. Stop, inhale and exhale. It will all be alright.
With this said though, we are all children at heart. Constantly needing reassurance that we are on the right track or that we will find our special someone some day. So here is this. Even though I may never talk to you, laugh with you, or cry with you, I, out of everyone else, love you. We all need a friendly reminder that this one day of the year is not a slap in the face, but merely a reminder that happiness is simply right around the corner. So stand up all of my Wanderers and pursuers of life. Don't you dare think for a second that you're not important. Trust me, you are.
Which brings me to my point. Smile. Everyone has something to be upset about, yes. Whether it be a recent break-up, dealing with rejection, or watching the love of your life walk away with someone else. We all need to remember to look for the silver lining! Remember in Elementary School how exciting Valentine's Day was? This was the one day where you got your construction paper and bedazzled shoe box and got candy and notes from all of your classmates. A sad reminder that we are all moving on and getting older now, but then, this was a bright eyes moment for us all. Yet fear not my fellow Wanderers...we are all cut from the same branch and we will find our companion some day. It is just in the mean time that we must remind ourselves of how good we actually have it.
Live in the moment. Take in each day and celebrate the fact that we are alive and kicking, because I'll tell you what. Life is too short to dwell on the inadequacies of others. See the brightness in everything you do, and your day will shine just as bright. If your version of Valentine's day is a carton of Ben and Jerry's and the Notebook, then have at it. Instead though, we could smile on the people we do love, and don't always appreciate. I gave my three girl roommates 4 yellow roses a piece and a box of chocolates. May not have sent there day over the moon, but it certainly made me feel better today about how I live my life, because at the end of the day, you are the person who has to look in the mirror and smile back at your reflection. If you can't do that, then you're wasting you're time. If you don't like what's looking back at you, don't bitch about it to everyone else. Take into account what you don't like and GROW as a person. You are responsible for your own happiness. Choose to be happy or choose to be sad. If we continue to walk around life, dwelling on the negative and the past, then we are likely to let the present slip right through our fingers. Stop, inhale and exhale. It will all be alright.
With this said though, we are all children at heart. Constantly needing reassurance that we are on the right track or that we will find our special someone some day. So here is this. Even though I may never talk to you, laugh with you, or cry with you, I, out of everyone else, love you. We all need a friendly reminder that this one day of the year is not a slap in the face, but merely a reminder that happiness is simply right around the corner. So stand up all of my Wanderers and pursuers of life. Don't you dare think for a second that you're not important. Trust me, you are.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
True Beauty
"Beauty is not caused. It is."
Emily Dickinson
Much can be said about beauty, am I right? No matter in the darkest of places you can find some of the most beautiful things there are. Not to say that a P.O.W. has a reason to look on the bright side necessarily, but what I am saying is that we go through our lives, so much of the time, without truly seeing what we are surrounded by...When was the last time you sat next to a total stranger and said "Hello" without knowing who they were or why you even felt the need to say it? It is a simple thing really, conversation. The beauty in conversation is the invisible connection between two people that can end up changing your life forever. Seizing even the smallest of opportunities in this way, you have allowed yourself the chance to open up and see how much the world has to hand you back.
The old quote is "Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder", which is true. But can you take in all of the beauty that lies around you, if you walk through your day with your eyes shut? I guarantee every single one of you has driven from one location to another, and all you can seem to remember is the last song on the radio. No real recollection of the drive in the slightest. Why? Even if we have driven the same stretch of road, countless times, does that make it any less beautiful? I challenge you, to go through your day, everyday, and try and find something that you've never seen before. Open your mind to new experiences and breathe in each day as if it were your last.
I've shared this video with you so that you can see, just as I have, that even the most basic things such as paint can create something truly timeless and beautiful. Much could be said about words in the same way or a mundane drive that can suddenly become breathtaking. True beauty, I agree, IS in the eye of the beholder; so stop closing your eyes, and enjoy it!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
A Voice
Never have I had a desire to hear my own voice, but I've always had the drive to write and create. So naturally blogging takes "my voice" out of the equation and substitutes it with an equal, only this voice you'll hear in your head instead of with your ears. And naturally as anything goes that is written, especially when you know the person (author) that has written it, you will read it with their tone and inflections as you see fit. I don't know how "unique" my voice may be, but my style of saying it is usually the key. I am naturally sarcastic, as is my writing which you will be able to notice as you read (if you read). No matter what the voice though, whether it be high pitch, twangy, deep south, jersey shore, what have you, everyone's voice is important. Everyone should be heard.
How is it that the power of speech has naturally been turned into some encrypted code? It seems as if with every word that is spoken there is a need to decipher it to find out a "true meaning"? With the world of texting this has only manifested into hysteria upon trying to recognize tone, or "Why is he only sending me one word texts back?", or even "Now when he says I like you, does that mean he likes me or he just likes me?" A constant roundabout way of looking at the world, continually falling on our own hypocrisy and our need to know everything.
Let me put it to you simply. Say what you mean and mean what you say. No one should have to hide what they actually think for fear of being put down or mocked. Who would want to say anything, right? Pave the ways for those to follow and step up and say exactly what you want. You can't hope to follow the plot line of "What Women Want"; that one day you'll get in an accident and somehow be able to hear what everyone is thinking, and then so, act accordingly. Not to mention, if you have something to say about someone else then say it TO THEM. Don't allow yourself to build up with frustration over volatile issues and petty mistakes. We are all human.
Now this is not to say that your voice is more important than others. Everyone has a voice, let everyone use it. Be as equal a listener as you are a speaker. And when someone is speaking, actually LISTEN. You can learn so much more from talking to everyone that you meet than you can hope to learn in a classroom. I've learned some of the most interesting and trivial material simply by keeping my ears open and being engaging in a conversation that I couldn't give two shits about.
Be yourself! You think you look damn good in an outfit? Wear it! Don't let the judgements of other people stifle your creativity. Your voice is not just spoken. It is important and shines out in everything that you do. Be original and let others dream of one day being just as open and expressive as you. Doesn't everyone want to be looked up to, to be a role model?
So my statement is this: No matter what you need to say, say it. Let your voice rain out. Speak your mind and listen to the world around you. Everyone has a voice, now everyone use it.
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